Starting Over | jusdifferent's Blog

After a devastating house fire, back in February, my husband and I have been giving a lot of thought lately,  as to what the future will hold for us.  ( Do we stay, and go through the re-building process, or cut our loses, and go elsewhere? )   To complicate matters further, due to the fire, rising fuel prices, and the current crap economy, we have decided to close the doors on our small, family-run business, as well.  In less than 45 days, our entire world has been turned upside down.  Life, as we once knew it, no longer exists.   "Change" has become the only constant in this strange, new existence.

As I sit here writing, I am afraid that yet another change is in the works for us.  Last night, we sat up late, discussing money, the current state of things, and where to go from here.  When we put pen to paper, and crunched numbers, we realised that we will take a substantial loss, in the long run, should we decide to stay and re-build.  ( The housing market is horrible here, and the cost of living has absolutely gone through the roof, in the last few years. )  We are now contemplating doing something I never thought we'd do - leaving New England.
 

Although I am originally from New Orleans, neither of us want to go back there, due to post-Katrina conditions.  We have a vacation condo down in Florida, and a fishing camp in upstate New York.  ( Florida is too far, too hot... )  New York, however,  is close, cheap, and has a ton of work for John.  The place is tiny, and will  need work, but I think will do for a while.  If nothing else, it will be somewhere to rest, recuperate, and get our bearings in life, once again.  

Neither of us particularly relishes leaving everything we love, everyone we know, and somewhere that has been "home", for the last 8 1/2 years, but we can not get back what we have lost, and it is time to pick up the pieces, and move on.  ( "Time and tide wait for no man." )  Life doesn't give a fart in a whirlwind, if we've lost everything, and are emotionally, and financially devastated.  Life doesn't care about me, or my problems.  It moves on with the "single-minded purpose" of progression, and evolution. 

I don't know what the future will hold for us.  I am scared, worried, sad, overwhelmed, and strangely invigorated, all at the same time.  I always heard how things "could change in an instant", and "go from the penthouse, to the outhouse" in the blink of an eye, but I never really understood.  Look around you.  Look at your preciously normal life.  Look at your spouse, your kids, your home, your job, and for once, be grateful for what you have.  Know that it is enough.  Know that even in difficult circumstances, you are "blessed".  It is SO true, that you don't really know what you have, until it is gone.